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privacy policy

00.27 | Label:

Privacy Policy for www.waytubangakak.blogspot.com/

If you require any more information or have any questions about our privacy policy, please feel free to contact us by email at ayi_a7@yahoo.com.

At www.waytubangakak.blogspot.com/, the privacy of our visitors is of extreme importance to us. This privacy policy document outlines the types of personal information is received and collected by www.waytubangakak.blogspot.com/ and how it is used.

Log Files
Like many other Web sites, www.waytubangakak.blogspot.com/ makes use of log files. The information inside the log files includes internet protocol ( IP ) addresses, type of browser, Internet Service Provider ( ISP ), date/time stamp, referring/exit pages, and number of clicks to analyze trends, administer the site, track user’s movement around the site, and gather demographic information. IP addresses, and other such information are not linked to any information that is personally identifiable.

Cookies and Web Beacons
www.waytubangakak.blogspot.com/ does use cookies to store information about visitors preferences, record user-specific information on which pages the user access or visit, customize Web page content based on visitors browser type or other information that the visitor sends via their browser.

DoubleClick DART Cookie
.:: Google, as a third party vendor, uses cookies to serve ads on www.waytubangakak.blogspot.com/.
.:: Google's use of the DART cookie enables it to serve ads to users based on their visit to www.waytubangakak.blogspot.com/ and other sites on the Internet.
.:: Users may opt out of the use of the DART cookie by visiting the Google ad and content network privacy policy at the following URL - http://www.google.com/privacy_ads.html

Some of our advertising partners may use cookies and web beacons on our site. Our advertising partners include ....
Google Adsense


These third-party ad servers or ad networks use technology to the advertisements and links that appear on www.waytubangakak.blogspot.com/ send directly to your browsers. They automatically receive your IP address when this occurs. Other technologies ( such as cookies, JavaScript, or Web Beacons ) may also be used by the third-party ad networks to measure the effectiveness of their advertisements and / or to personalize the advertising content that you see.

www.waytubangakak.blogspot.com/ has no access to or control over these cookies that are used by third-party advertisers.

You should consult the respective privacy policies of these third-party ad servers for more detailed information on their practices as well as for instructions about how to opt-out of certain practices. www.waytubangakak.blogspot.com/'s privacy policy does not apply to, and we cannot control the activities of, such other advertisers or web sites.

If you wish to disable cookies, you may do so through your individual browser options. More detailed information about cookie management with specific web browsers can be found at the browsers' respective websites. 

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CHECK server status

07.20 |

input your url address

Domain name:

(eg. iwebtool.com)


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backlink test

07.20 |

masukan alamat blog anda
input your url address




Check domain:
http://
(eg. www.iwebtool.com)



0kee dah gmn hasilnya memuaskan gx??


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google banned cacker

07.19 |

masukan alamat blog anda
input your url address




Check domain:
http://
(eg. www.iwebtool.com)



0kee dah gmn hasilnya memuaskan gx??


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search engin position

07.19 |

masukan alamat blog anda
input your url address




Check domain:
http://
(eg. www.iwebtool.com)



0kee dah gmn hasilnya memuaskan gx??


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search engin position

07.18 |

masukan alamat blog anda
input your url address



Your domain:


(eg. iwebtool.com)
Search on:

Limit search to:

Keywords to search:



posisi ke brp blogmu??


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IP location untuk mengetahui lokasinya

07.18 |

input your url address

Enter Domain/IP Address:

(eg. iwebtool.com or
123.232.124.532)


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broken link checker l mngecek link yg rusak

07.17 |

input your url address


Check URL:

(eg. iwebtool.com/tools/)


Powered by iWEBTOOL

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pagerank chacker l cek PR kamu disini

07.17 |

input your url address


Your domain:

(eg. iwebtool.com)



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alexa traffic rank l lihat rank alexa anda disini

07.17 |

input your url address

Your domain(s): Enter each address on a new line
(Maximum of 5 domains)


Data type:
Data range:




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website speed test l ukur kecepatan website/blogmu disini

07.16 |



Your domain(s): Enter each address on a new line (Maximum 10)




(eg. iwebtool.com)




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The Difference Between An Optimist And A Pessimist

01.42 |

Optimist: There is nothing more important than feeling good.

Pessimist: Come again? Didn't I just tell you how bad everything is

Optimist: When you feel good you raise your vibrations. You get what you prefer. You send out a frequency that brings you what you love.

When you feel miserable, you're setting yourself up to miscreate your reality. Your pain is a signal for you to change. It's a warning blip on the radar of your mind.

The easiest thing you can do to change your life is to feel good. Finding ways to feel good opens the pathways to your preference.

It is so much easier to feel good. It is so much easier to get into health, clarity, and love, when you feel good. And it is so much easier to create the life you want that way.

When you feel bad, you're pointing your car down the wrong side of the freeway. Sooner or later, you're going to hit an oncoming car.

Pessimist:You just don't understand, do you?

Optimist:I understand how you can feel bad-nothing is working out for you. Your bills aren't paid and your rent is due and your car doesn't work and your kids are out of control and your boss and coworkers hate you, and, and, and...but you just have to do it...you have to train yourself to feel good.

You see, all this is happening because you feel bad about what's bad.

Pessimist: Yeah, right! So how do you feel good when everything is bad?

Optimist: You fake it-until you make it.

Pessimist:I gotcha! You're a positive thinking nut!

Optimist: This is not about positive thinking: this is about positive vibrating. Your brain is an electromagnetic generator. It throws out thoughts all the time that affect your body and your world. And it brings to itself thoughts of a similar kind. You get to feel more of what you're already feeling and observe the circumstances to justify it.

Naturally, when bad things happen you react to them--but, this sets in motion more bad things to come your way. It's a vicious circle, I know. I understand how unnatural and forced it feels to try and feel good when things are going badly...but, but...it's the only way to turn things around.

And when you feel good, then good things start happening. Somehow, for some strange reason, you find more people who seem to like you, and you find new ideas and new solutions, and you have happy accidents that spontaneously take care of those horrible disasters. And people for some reason want to pay you more and help you more and just be around you more.

Pessimist: This is way too simple! Do you realize how much time I spend trying to figure things out?

Optimist: I'd try to make this more complex if I knew how.

All I can say is that you always get to choose how you want to feel about anything.

If I were you, I'd start to feel good. Reasons why will soon start showing up.

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Three Cheers For The Patriot Act!

01.42 |

I'm as patriotic as the next person, maybe even more so if the next person is the cashier at my local convenience store which still doesn't seem to employ REAL Americans; but I digress.

Anyway, the rules for being a patriotic American were always a little bit fuzzy prior to 9/11, so I thank God (can I still thank Him in America?), that our President and his Attorney General took the time to put it all down in writing.

What's really amazing is that they were able to encapsulate everything that it actually means to be an American patriot, and get it all written down and passed by Congress, only 6 weeks after the World Trade Center was blown all to hell by some decidedly un-Patriotic non-Americans. It took our founding fathers a hell of a lot longer to write the Constitution than it took Bush, Ashcroft and Haliburton, I mean Cheney, to "un write" it. But, there I go digressing again.

Since we've become a "sound bite" society, let me save you the trouble of reading all 131 pages of "Constitution II, the Sequel" AKA the Patriot Act.

Here's what is says in summary:

"There are lots of bad guys in the world and we just found out that they existed on September 11, 2001. Some of those bad guys live here in the U.S.A. Some of those bad guys might even be YOU. In order to protect "US" from "YOU", we're going to check up on YOU, from time to time, to make sure that YOU aren't doing things that YOU shouldn't be in an attempt to hurt US".

"Further, if we even suspect that YOU might be doing bad things to US, then we might haul you away in the middle on the night and hold you, without charges, for as long as we feel like it and you can't talk to a lawyer because YOU might be a terrorist and terrorists don't have any rights".

It goes on to say...

"In an attempt to avoid accidentally confusing Patriotic Americans with Unpatriotic Americans, we're going to appoint a neutral third party, the FBI, to monitor your e-mail, medical records, library accounts, video store rentals, internet activity, land line and cell phone conversations, bank and credit card records, and whatever the hell else we think is appropriate, all without probable cause. And, if you complain about it, then YOU must have something to be afraid of and that "something" just might be that you're unpatriotic".

So, there you go. Just print out this article, add "I Agree" and sign it so you too can be a Patriotic American.

However, if you REALLY want to be a Patriotic American then you should also join the Army and go to Iran so you can help liberate their citizens from a repressive regime that monitored and controlled their every movement, hauled their citizens away in the middle of the night without charges, and held them for as long as they wanted. But then, there I go digressing again.

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Internet Scams and the Charlatans Behind Them

01.41 |

If you've ever been interested in making money on the internet, then at some point you've probably visited your favorite search engine and typed in one of the following phrases: "Make Money" - "Work From Home" - "Get Rich Online." And, you've encountered some deliciously interesting results.

My personal favorites are the websites that have a collage of a husband and wife living their lives blissfully. One picture shows them holding each other lovingly. Another picture shows them playing tennis on their own private court. The next photo shows them standing in front of their private mansion inside of a gated community as they point to the home as if to say to you "Look at how big this thing is! With a house this size we must be telling the truth!" I especially like the pictures that show the lucky couple on their yacht, sailing in the Pacific, holding up a fish they caught that's not even half as large as the lie they're telling you about how they can teach you to make millions on the internet if you just fill out the email form on their website so they can begin sending you informative tidbits about making money that will "change your life."

So with fervent anticipation, you fill out the email form on their website, and an autoresponder begins sending you a series of emails, usually spread 24 hours apart, about how this "revolutionary new system" has changed their lives and the lives of others they've recruited into their business. As you're reading the email, you start to ask yourself, "Hmmm....I wonder what the heck this business actually is. The website doesn't say what the business is, and the email doesn't say what the business is....I wonder how these wonderful people are lining their pockets with so much cash?"

By the time they've sent you the fifth email, you're so excited that you simply can't hold out any longer, so you order their program, and then a few days later you receive a package in the mail. What do you find inside? You find books and/or CD's telling you how you can get rich online if you set up the same kind of website they did that tells people that they can get rich online if they purchase the same scam you just did. I love it when this happens.

Don't get me wrong, some of these websites do actually have a legitimate service for which they want to train you so that you can resell it, such as being a vitamin distributor, or teaching people about internet marketing, or, my personal favorite, hosting and inviting people to Christian mentor conferences (I love that one). Yes, there are a slew of defrauders in cyberspace who actually try to convince people how they can "Get rich with Christian mentor conferences." Jeez, if only I had thought of that. Here I am working 10 hours a day with a legitimate company, all the while I could've been cashing in on those hot Christian mentor conferences.

But, most of the time, there is no legitimate product or service whatsoever, and when there is, they're usually like the stuff I've already mentioned - items or services that no one needs or wants, things that aren't practical and don't make any sense. So, these charlatans have a very simple approach - they set up a convincing sales pitch, they keep pushing it by bombarding you with emails until you're mouth is watering, then you place your order and they send you a business venture that is unremarkable or a waste of your time.

I'm also a big fan of the Multi-Level-Marketing (MLM) scams that are pervading the internet these days. Don't you just adore these cute little MLM sycophants who call you at the dinner hour from a galaxy far, far away (I live in New Jersey, and I once got a call from someone in London, England, asking me if I wanted to team up with him and become part of his MLM campaign)? You've probably come across these MLM companies on the internet before. They have this thing called a "downline" where you recruit people to join the business to sell some sort of newfangled product or device, and those people then recruit people, and the recruits of the recruits then recruit more recruits, until you have the entire population of planet Earth and half of the population of Jupiter in your downline, and you get a percentage of all of their sales. The closer the recruit is to you in your downline, the higher the commission percentage you get. For the recruits of the recruits of the recruits of the recruits, you get a smaller percentage of their sales, roughly 0.0000000000001%.

The IRS is not a big fan of MLM's as they are often scams, and often there's no way you can make money if you're at the bottom of a downline that consists of 30 or 40 people. It's the guys at the top, the ones who own the MLM, that make the real money, while you order the program and then make only a couple of sales; but since the owners of the company have recruited so many people into their program, a few sales apiece from thousands and thousands of recruited sales reps adds up to a substantial amount.

So, the best advice you can extract from this reading is to only become involved with internet companies that offer a legitimate product or service. If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is.

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Brighten Your Day and Enlighten Your Life

01.41 |

George Bernard Shaw once said that if you find something funny search it for hidden truth. Here are few pearls of wisdom packaged in humour. Enjoy.

1. You wouldn't worry what people thought about you if you only knew how seldom they did.

2. To expect life to treat you fairly because you're a good person is like expecting a bull not to charge you because you're a vegetarian.

3 .Worry is like a rocking chair; it will give you something to do, but won't get you anywhere.

4. Pain and suffering are a lot like gas....they too shall pass.

5. Always borrow money from a pessimist. They don't expect to be paid back.

6. Anyone who says that swimming is good for the figure has never taken a real good look at a whale.

7. A bore is always "ME" deep in conversation.

8. Some people think their lives are full, when really they're just cluttered.

9. If at first you don't succeed, try not to be amazed.

10. A leader without a sense of humour is like a grass cutter at a cemetery. You have a lot of people under you paying absolutely no attention.

Live Better....Laugh More

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Couch Potato Success Factors

01.40 |

There are five key character traits of superior couch potatoes. You really do need to become aware of these critical success factors if you are to master the underground couch potato world.

1. A total lack of interest in the outside world. Any self respecting couch potato has virtually no interest whatsoever in venturing out doors. There is no point since all your human needs can be satisfied in your living room.

2. The ability to let go of all personal ambition. This is a character trait of the advanced couch potato artist. Very few ever attain this - the ultimate goal. Still, hold it in mind as your vision of nirvana.

3. Fight club rules apply. Remember, nobody talks about the couch potato lifestyle. It is a way of life to be enjoyed for its own sake. Do not glorify it or use it to satisfy the ego?s need for adulation.

4. Resist nothing. Let in your need to be. Be and do not do. This is couch potato tao at its finest. Experience the moment, devour those snacks, enjoy your chilled beer and lose yourself in TV. Be!

5. Drop your status needs until you no longer have any materialistic drive. This is important. If you spend hours every evening watching TV you need to let the adverts. wash over you without getting caught up in the need to acquire.

The same applies when lavish lifestyles are presented in movies and serials. In most cases you are being encouraged to drop the higher path of pleasure and relaxation for a world of effort and striving. Be very careful at these moments to stay true to your ideals.

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You are joking series: Stonehenge 15 one liner funny jokes competition

01.39 |

Stonehenge funny jokes competition is an annual event which is held every year on the first weekend in the month of March. It is a very popular event attended by people from all over the world and across all walks & spheres of life.

This year there were a record number of people in attendance: up by 30% over last year. Nearly 100,000 people travelling to Stonehenge serves as a proof in itself that the event is in big demand. People were, setting up their camps, organising their humorous stalls; selling literature on jokes, comedy, and even offering crash courses to would be comedians over the weekend.

According to 2006 program, there was one West Country Comedy school offering its services to help you realise your ambitions to become a real comedian. We took advantage of this offer and sent along James Mcdugal: our humorous/comedy correspondence. He was put through a very intensive training program for eight hours on Friday. He was given instructions on style, delivery, posture, use of body language, voice and gestures to enhance his message. He spent the following morning actually putting into practice what he had learnt the previous day in preparation for an entry into Stonehenge one liner competition held on the Saturday evening. He was scheduled to deliver his stomach crusher one liners at 9.00pm. Below is a list of James on liners. James had the audience in stitches... He generated the greatest amount of laughter because he fell flat on his fact as he walked onto the stage... He broke the ice well... after that it was piece of cake for him...

What happens when fish crosses an elephant? A swimming trunk.
Why didn't the skeleton go to the disco? Because he had no body to go with.
Why did the girl take crayons to her bed? To draw the curtains.
What did the mother phone say to the baby phone? You are too small to get engaged.
Why did the girl wear the ring on the wrong finger? To show people she was married to the wrong man.
Why did the elephant eat the candle? Because he wanted a light snack.
Have you heard the joke about butter? Don't spread it.
What do prisoners use to call each other? Cell phones.
Why do seagulls fly over the sea? If they flew over the bay they would be baygulls.
What did the ground say to the earth quake? You crack me up..
Why did the boy study in the aeroplane? Because he wanted higher education.
What is the best time to go the bed? When the bed won't come to you.
Why did the lobster blush? Because he saw the seaweed.
Why did the toilet paper go down the hill? To get to the bottom..
Dad, son school joke...The dad said to his boy... How do you like going to school? The going bit is fine, the coming back bit is fine.. but I am not so keen on the bit in the middle.

There were 20 entrants in total and each comedian had 5 minutes to make their audience laugh. The deciding factor amongst other things was the roar of the laughter. This one factor was the clincer.. this alone determined the overall winner of the Stonehenge "Joker of the Year 2006" ... After the presentation which lasted for about an two hours.. The judges made their decision and came back to announce it at 11pm.

Jo Gormely the president of the Stonehenge "Jokers" plc said.. Ladies and gentlemen.. welcome to the Stonehenge... Here are the results of tonight's competition in reverse order...

Third place goes to "Tim Cutler".. from Australia. Tim was presented with a brass trophy as well as a ?1,000 winning prize.

Second place goes to "Barker Wood"... from USA. Barker was presented a silver trophy and ?5,000 in prize money.

The overall winner of the "Stonehenge Jokers 2006" competition is.. James Mcdugal. There was champagne .. there was a Gold trophy and ?20,000 in prize money. Congratulations.. James ... Shouted the entire crowd because his presentation was out of this world...

James success meant... Greener pastures.. He secured a good contract with CBCN and has since moved on. We will not be taking part in any future competitions for fear of losing good staff to the Americans.. said our MD Bob Dogooder in an internal memo.

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Tech Support Comedy

01.39 |

If you've every tried to get service on your computer, you will appreciate this website. It's filled with tech support horror stories that would make the most stalwart consumer cringe.

This website is dedicated to providing some comic relief to those working in the tech support field, as well as providing a forum for the weary tech guy to vent frustrations from possibly one of the most aggravating jobs in the industy. It is not geared toward the consumer, although reading it will give you a real look into what the tech guys are going through on the other end of the telephone.

It features stories, jokes and venting about what's happening on the other end of the support line like the examples provided below:

Dumpster Diving
SF calls saying that her printer has a "No Print Head Installed" warning on her LCD screen. Did a little investigating (okay, I'm lying) and *surprise*, the print head wasn't installed. I asked SF if there were any extra parts in the box her printer came in (I expected her to say yes, because this is a pretty common call, apparently, the black box that comes with the printer is automatically assumed to be "extra ink"). She said she didn't know.

Well, where is the box, I asked. I threw it away already. Well, you're screwed, I thought to myself (the print head piece costs more than the printer). I explained this to her, she looks out her window at the dumpster she threw the box in. I think I can still see the box, she tells me. She then, takes the cordless phone, goes down the stairs, up the street and brings me with her as she dumpster dives for TWENTY minutes.

I put my phone on mute and switched it to speaker, my whole row almost died of laughter and although it's cliche (this really happened) we even heard a cat screech in the background after she (I'm guessing) threw garbage on it. SF locates the print head and we get her printer working . This is the best call I've ever had.

Reboot Madness
"It's not friggin' rocket science" said by me (muted) to the last idiot who needed to have me go over the reboot process (power cycle modem and router, restart computer) 5 (that's FIVE) times after she called in to have a new router mac added to her internet modem account. Sorry, I've had a string of stupid calls today.

They have a number of neat products if you work in the technical support arena. It's advertised like this: The Tech Support Comedy Store "contains products that are of particular interest to people that wok in the area of technical support." What does this mean?

More strangeness than I'd like to consider including things like a link to the Red Swingline Stapler site. They also have some really great T-shirts with witty phrases like, "I worked in tech support and all I got was this stupid t-shirt," on the front, and "...and your credit card number" on the back. In these times, that is funny and vaguely disturbing. Who knew that tech support folk's sideline business is scam theiving scumbags -- well the acronym is the same.

Another t-shirt that's guaranteed to leave you warm and fuzzy reads "I get paid for tech support..." on the front, "...I don't get paid to care" on the back.

Tech-Support-Comedy is just plain funny, and whether you're an IT person, a corporate executive with a frustrated tech guy on staff fixing your computer and mumbling under his/her breath about how stupid you are, or just a janitor who bought a $299 after mail-in rebate Dell vanilla computer, you'll find many humor and chuckles.

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Never Open An Outhouse Door Without Knocking

01.38 |

I suppose that every hometown of every child holds certain favorite hiding places, or short cuts, or little-known doors or cubbyholes or secret passageways or whatever, and Auburn was no exception.

One of my favorite such places was the train tunnel that ran under Palm Avenue and the Auburn reservoir, and came out just this side of Gasoline Alley, a wide spot on Highway 49 about a mile north of where I lived. Tales of being caught in the tunnel when the train came were standard Auburn lore; one of my older cousins' cousin swore that he got caught one day with the train coming, and had to lie flat on his stomach between the tracks while the train passed over him. I believed him until I was about ten or so, when I started to notice that each time he told the story some of the details were different, such as whether it was night or day, with friends or alone; that sort of thing.

Being somewhat timid by nature, I never would have taken the dare to run through the tunnel if I was alone, but crowd psychology is different than individual psychology, and the herd instinct won out. It was a winter day after school, and several of us 8th graders were out of basketball practice because of teacher conferences. Since we didn't have to practice, we naturally looked around for something else to do, and Ken, our point guard, made the dumbest suggestion of all: "Let's run out to Gasoline Alley & back through the train tunnel."

So off we went, licketty-split down Palm Avenue, past my house, past the yellow bus shed where bus #9 picked us all up every school morning, and up the hill across from Dr. Dunevitz' house, where we dropped down to the tracks and began our run through the train tunnel. The train came twice a day, once early morning and once about 10 PM. It was only about 4 PM then, so we knew there was no danger of a train coming.

What we didn't know was that a group of transients, guys who road the rails from one town to another; we called them "hobos"; had taken residence in the tunnel. They apparently were sitting or lying against one wall of the tunnel, perhaps 50 feet or so from the end of the tunnel we were entering, so they had enough light to function and yet no one looking into the dark tunnel from the bright daylight outside could see them.

We entered the tunnel on the run, making jokes about outrunning the train, and what would happen if the train schedule changed. As we ran past the hobos in the darkness, our eyes fixed upon the small dot of light at the other end of the tunnel, one of the men shouted something that sounded like "Run to hell, boys!" None of us ever knew exactly what he said, but the shock of that shout and the ensuing laughter coming from the darkness was enough to send us into overdrive. We looked back to see the outline of a man in the end of the tunnel where we had entered seconds before. We screamed in unison and absolutely sprinted to the other end of the tunnel some quarter of a mile away. If we had been clocked, I'm sure some of us would have set a new world record. Needless to say, we did not return the way we came, nor did we ever enter that tunnel again.

Another shortcut my cousin Harvey & I used to take was through the wild blackberry vines across Nevada Street from my Uncle's nursery, Eisley's Nursery, on the corner of Nevada Street and Palm Avenue. Well, it wasn't really a short cut; it was more like a long cut. But we liked to take it anyway, and imagined ourselves to be Tarzan finding hidden trails through the jungle of tangled vines and swamp-like foliage. Somewhere, in the acre or so of blackberries, was a small little home housing a Japanese family. We didn't know them, and in 1944 or so, we weren't even sure we wanted to know them. Maybe they were still the enemy. Maybe they would capture us and hold us as prisoners of war. Maybe they even had weapons over there in their little reddish-colored house. Maybe they were Kamikazes! Wouldn't that be exciting? Our excitement grew as we wove our way through the vines, making up stories of how Tarzan defeated the entire Japanese army by swinging through the trees and ambushing them from the hollow of a blackberry bush.

Just then we crawled out of a bog of pussy willows and into a very small clearing with a tiny little house in it, hardly big enough to house a single person, let alone an entire family. Could it be a munitions depot? A secret storage area? Would the US army want to know about it? Could it be connected with spies? Overcome with curiosity, fantasy, and patriotism, it was our duty, Harvey and I, to investigate it. Stealthily we snuck around it, signaling each other to be quiet, until we locate a door. Harvey gingerly opened it, as his wide-eyed little cousin peered in.

Just as my eyes focused on the Japanese woman seated in the outhouse, her shriek of terror told us we had made a terrible mistake. We hastily retreated in great fear and consternation, fearing both reprisal and political consequences.

None ever came, thank goodness. But unlike General MacArthur, we did not return.

Note: As we grew older, we realized that they were not only NOT the enemy, but they were loyal Americans who later became good friends.

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Remote Viewing & Remote Influencing - What is it?

01.37 |


If you're like me, you spend hours surfing the internet looking for weird stuff that you've never seen or read about before. During my extensive research one evening, as I scoured cyberspace to find some new and unusual crap to entertain myself with, I finally found what I was looking for.

At about 2:00 A.M. on a Thursday night, I couldn't relax, couldn't sleep, so I traveled downstairs to the computer and went online to find some information about meditation or relaxation techniques to help me clear my head so I could fall asleep. On one of the websites I visited, there was a collection of links to various websites that teach meditation and relaxation techniques, such as yoga, Zen, and something called "open-eye meditation." None of these things interested me, until I found a link to a website for something called "Remote Viewing & Remote Influencing." This was intriguing, so I clicked through to the website.

At the very top of the first page was the title, "Welcome to the Remote Viewing and Remote Influencing Information Page - Your Real Life Time Machine." I sat forward in my chair, excited as can be. "This is it," I said to myself. "This is the kind of weird crap I've been looking for."

The information contained there was fascinating. Remote viewing was allegedly developed by the CIA during the Cold War era, circa 1970, as a way to make use of our natural psychic potential to spy on the Russians without having to travel to the Soviet Union to do it. Using remote viewing, by focusing one's mental powers on a certain point in space and time, it is possible to view what is going on anywhere at anytime; past, present, or future.

On the website, it also claimed that there were operatives who were trained in remote viewing and became so clairvoyant that they had to be locked underground in cages at different locales around the world. One was locked in a cage in Brazil, another in an intelligence base near Washington, and the third in an underground facility in Paramus, NJ. Yes, that's right, Paramus, NJ!

After I finished reading about remote viewing, I arrived at the remote influencing part of the website, which was even more bizarre, but cool. According to the information posted there, "remote influencing allows you to create your own fate and future, attracting the people and situations you want, and not be subject anymore to or addicted to the system of group consciousness." Apparently, remote influencing is some sort of mind control technique which enables you to create any reality you desire, alter your appearance, and change the world as you see fit; to play god, sort of speak.

The website never explained as to how one can actually learn to do this, though it did say that for $89.95 I could order their training tapes, which are backed by a 30-day money back guarantee. Right above the order form on the website was written "Order now for only $89.95, and learn how to change the world and play God - or your money back!"

I thought to myself, "For only $89.95 I get to become the Lord! What a great deal!" But, by that time it was 3 A.M., and since I was too tired to go back upstairs and get my credit card, I went back to bed. The next day, I did some further research, and I found a message board where people were discussing remote viewing and remote influencing products they had ordered online, and they revealed that what was sent to them was nothing more than some relaxation tapes narrated by a man with an eerie voice, accompanied by some ethereal background music.

So, are remote viewing and remote influencing proponents a bunch of quacks? Not necessarily. The principles they teach are probably true for the most part. They're basically saying that we have the power within our own minds to control our destiny and to harness the power of the subconscious mind to do things that would seem supernatural to our conscious mind. Personally, I do believe in the power of the mind and that we can break free from the shackles of consciousness to achieve a higher state of mental well-being. This is one of the basic tenets of Scientology, that people have the power within themselves to do amazing things. So, despite having stumbled upon something that at first glance seemed like a scam or a bunch of empty nonsense, there was at least some wisdom imparted to me after having read through the information presented. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go to my remote viewing class that starts in a half hour; we're going to use remote viewing to try to find Bin Laden.

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How Grandma's Lap Robe Saved My Legs

01.36 |

We lived almost exactly one mile from the heart of Auburn California on Palm Avenue between the old Highway 49 and the new, broader Highway 49; the highway that connects Auburn with Grass Valley, both towns formed during the Gold Rush of 1849. The city limit line ran right down the center of Palm Avenue, so we lived just a few feet inside the "city"; really a town of about 3000. Palm tress, unusual in Auburn, used to line our road, but through the years some fell, some were cut down by progress, and now they were scattered; one here, then a quarter mile, then a cluster of a half-dozen, then more for a space. As a small child I used to imagine that Palm trees were giant one-legged ostriches, now petrified, like ancient prehistoric birds.

The house I grew up in was built the year before I was born for thirty five hundred dollars. It sat on the northeast corner of my Grandfather Eisleys' property, a ten acre segment now occupied mostly by my Uncle Henry's nursery, aptly named Eisleys' Nursery, but also containing our one acre strip and the original Eisley ranch home where my Mom and Uncle Henry and three other aunts and uncles grew up.

My Grandma Eisley lived in a newer house, now that Grandpa was gone, which was situated just 50 feet from our house. Which meant that anytime we went anywhere, or did anything, Grandma knew about it.

We drove to town a couple times a week to go shopping for groceries or clothes, and to pay bills at PG&E, the telephone company, and so forth. My folks paid for everything in cash; no paper or plastic substitutes; and in person. Which was kind of nice, because that way we made the rounds and got well acquainted with bank clerks, secretaries, and various and sundry other locals.

I don't believe that the trip to town; that entire mile in and mile back; was ever made without Grandma. She always wanted to go, and Mom was always afraid of hurting her feelings if we didn't ask her, so we always asked her, and it always took three times as long as it would have taken had we not asked her.

It was kind of a ritual. Each participant in the ritual said the same thing every time, and this went on for the better part of 20 years.

"We need to go to town," Mom would say. "I need to get some Nucoa, and Garland needs some new cords, and I'd sure like to get that PG&E bill paid we got today in the mail."

"Let's go!" my big brother Garland and I would respond in unison.

"I'll start the car" was Daddy's line.

"Do you suppose we ought to ask Mother?" Mom would always ask, as though it were an open question.

"But it takes sooooo long that way," Garland or I would groan.

"But if she knows we've gone without her, she'll be hurt," Mom would predictably counter.

Daddy was always gone by then, bringing the car from the basement-garage below around front.

"Alright," Garland would say in a pained voice. "I'll go ask her." Garland was always nicer than me.

And the answer was always the same.

"Sure. I'll go. Will I need my galoshes?"

"No, Grandma, it's July!"

"Well bring my lap blanket just in case there's a draft."

"Yes, Grandma."

Once in the car, another ritual began.

"Whew, it's sure hot in here!" Garland or Daddy or I would say.

"But we can't have a draft on Mother," Mom would reply.

"Don't you want this lap robe over your knees, boys?" asked Grandma, as she spread it over our knees and tried to tuck it in around our waist.

"No, Grandma, it's July!"

"Well July or not, you have to watch out for a draft, you know. There's pneumonia going around these days, boys."

Groans.

Quiet resignation.

Hot legs.

In retrospect, I guess Grandma was right. I'm over half a century now, and I've never had any problem with the parts of my body covered by that lap robe, and I don't believe Garland has either. Maybe I should have covered my head with it. Maybe I wouldn't be bald today.

Didn't seem to do as much good for her, however. Old age seemed to take its natural course, and the lap robe didn't seem to run much interference for it.

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Are You Spreading Humor

01.35 |

I recall a teacher I had in school, came to school one day wearing a brown shoe on one foot and a black shoe on the other. She had been in a rush that morning and simply grabbed a left shoe and a right shoe. They were the same style just different in color. She only lived a short distance from school but rather than go home and change she explained her fiasco to her students. She was always so perfect we just could not imagine her doing such a thing. I think following that day we looked at her as though she was almost human.

You had better know we all had one big chuckle out of the shoe episode. Have you thought that you do not have to be the one 'on center-stage' to share humor? Of course not. Just consider it, if some person is sharing a funny happening with you, what is your job? Laugh, of course you would. Now this ought not have to be a false laugh but a significant chuckle. Laughing with, not at someone is spreading their humor.

Most of us have a friend or have knowledge of someone that is known for his or her humor. They are fun to be with and we should always remember to share our chuckling with them. Now that you realise that humor can be shared without being a public orator, let's look at how an orator relates, or should relate, to his or her audience. They have a relationship that is obtained by mutual respect, trust and sympathising with the audience. Humor needs to be prepared exceptionally carefully. When it fails to be funny it can cause stress and discomfort.

This should not occur if you are able to follow a few guidelines. The first point to be considered is the difference between healthy and unhealthy humor. As you know, unhealthy humor has a victim. It shows a wicked spirit. There might be a laugh for this humor but it would most probably be one of nervousness. The sufferer is usually made to look different, not be very intelligent or prejudice.

Looking to healthy humor you will see it is just the opposite. It shows support and authorization in emphasizing the ways we are alike. This shows more understanding and sympathy. The laughing here comes from recognizing that we are all in the same boat and no one is isolated or made to appear different. In order to spread humor, the speaker must have a good demeanour. You must be able to enjoy humor.

It is crucial that you have a good relationship with the audience. This is sharing yourself in person so they will discover the speaker. Trust has to be established so the audience will not be nervous of anything you may share. A good insight or knowledge of the audience is a must as every joke or sentence plays on a particular emotion.

A complete understanding about the environment of the audience will put the speaker on conventional ground with them. This requires a lot of homework. If you don't know details of them, stay off from particular persons and places in your humor. Presentation is essential. The presentation of the punchline is important as well as giving the audience time to enjoy the punchline. The ultimate important issue with timing you must realise when to finish. Enjoyable humor goes a long way and it is way better to let them leave wanting more.

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The Effects Of Funny Things

01.35 |

This article looks at the wonderful effects of laughter & really funny things.

Are you feeling run down? You could try laughing more! Some researchers think laughter could be the best medicine, helping you feel better and bringing that spring back into your step.

It makes sense that if people can get more laughter in their lives, they are happier and healthier too.
Laughter is a wonderful thing - that's why we have all heard the saying "laughter is the best medicine". There is strong evidence that laughter can actually improve health and help fight disease.

Test the theory and see for yourself!

First id like you to think of some really funny things, situations you have been in or pictures you have seen, as long as it's really funny!
Now I want you to smile, come on! Let the corners of your mouth turn up. Giggle, chortle, chuckle. And slowly build up into a loud laugh.

How do you feel now? Refreshed? Exhilarated? According to recent studies done by neuroscientists and psychologists, as well as the newest fads in holistic medicine, laughter is the greatest panacea yet discovered.
It has been credited with everything from lowering blood pressure and reducing chances of heart attacks and strokes to increasing your intelligence and capabilities to retain process information.

Humour and laughter are regularly being used in a variety of therapeutic situations.

Research into the use of therapeutic humour tells us it has the power to motivate, alleviate stress and pain and improve one's sense of well being.

When really funny things make us laugh, natural killer cells which destroy tumours and viruses increase, along with Gamma-interferon (a disease fighting protein), T- cells (important for the immune system) and B - cells (which make disease -fighting antibodies).
As well as lowering blood pressure, laughter increases oxygen in the blood, which also encourages healing.

What is laughter?
Believe it of not laughter is not the same as humour. It is the physiological response to humour and is made of two parts - the production of a sound and a set of gestures.
Laughing causes our brain to conduct both the production of a sound and a set of gestures simultaneously.

Why do we laugh?
Some researchers believe that strengthening human connections is related to why we laugh because laughter occurs more often when people are comfortable around one another.
Have you noticed in an office everyone in the office laughs when the boss laughs? This is because dominant people use laughter more often than their subordinates.
Laughing and Humour is like a medicine and a very powerful one.
It can bring together families in troubled times, reduce anger and frustration and lower your stress levels.
If you can laugh at yourself or a situation you are in that seem overwhelming it will help to diffuse the stress.

Laughter and really funny things serve a great purpose in our life not only from a medical point of view we discussed earlier but it will make you feel better about yourself and the world around you. It will make a bad situation seem a little less daunting.

A hearty laugh a day may well keep the doctor away, so keep looking at really funny things!

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Honey Do List Gone Wild For Unemployed Men

01.34 |


Wash the damn car
Seal the driveway
Clean the air filters
Empty the vacuum bag
Cut the frigging grass
Organize the garage
Paint

See that chair, don't sit in it.
The dishes are piling up, let's get 'er done.
But wait, it's raining, get the clothes off the line, FAST.
Look in the fridge, what do you see? Nothing?
Get busy, here's the list, off you go. Have fun.
What took you so long! Gheesh.
You what! You bought a new lawnmower!
Let's do the math. The square footage of the house is like
ten times that of the lawn, so why didn't you buy a new vacuum?
Just wondering.

Here's the credit card, go buy the kids their school stuff.
Did you get the mail today?
About that credit card, don't you dare!
You're back already?
What! The car broke down!
Take the car in.
How much? Here's another damn credit card.

Your son wants a new video game.
Don't you dare!
Fix that leaking tub.
You can't fix that leaking tub?
Hire a plumber that takes a credit card.
About that credit card.
Did you see the hydro bill!
Too bad we can't use the credit card.
Wait. I think we can.

The little guy wants some more candy.
Use the card.
How much is our house worth?
I was just wondering if there would be enough equity
to pay off the credit cards.
About those cards.
Fill up the car. You really need the card for that.
How much?
Can you walk to hockey?
Beer. We need beer.
At least we're getting airmiles, yippee.

We need a new roof
We need new windows
When will the patio be finished?
About that credit card.
Credit card declined.
Now what?
Who's your favourite realtor?
ME! "Yeah I got a Listing".

APPLICATION HELL
Do you know how many jobs are out there?
Apparently, the superabundance is so overwhelming,
it will make me cry with gratitude.
The choices are spectacular!
Employers en masse, like a parade of dancing cash.
Sixteen hours of resume revamping,
twenty two hours of cover letter re-design,
and days of emailing to those who are dying to hire me.

Oh yes.
I warned my neighbours of the coming onslaught.
Checked the local bylaws to ensure the parade of opportunity conformed.
Adorned my body in pinstripes
The hair. You should see the hair:
Arched at the edges, it screams Management Material!
Oh yes. All is good.

Six months have passed.
Do you know how many jobs are NOT out there?
Apparently, the drought is so overwhelming,
I had to stop crying. I couldn't afford the tissues.
The choices for car washing, flipping burgers and pouring coffee, spectacular.
I'm not educated to wash, flip, and pour,
I really should have planned better.

Employers must be IN Mass.
And cash doesn't dance. Credit cards do.
Sixteen hours of resume revamping,
Twenty hours of cover letter re-design and months of emailing,
gave me one thing I didn't have, cramps.

Oh yes.
The bylaws need revamping, Employer onslaughts, went with the wind.
About my hair. It's a lovely shade of in-shock grey.
Pinstripes? Let's not go there.
So what have I done for me lately?
I whipped out the good china to have a coffee
Didn't have time to use it before.
Unemployed class, all is good.

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Party Jokes: Startling But Unnecessary

01.34 |

Here, I focus on a range of items and features that we use in life without giving them a second thought such as Coca Cola, body muscles and holding ones own breath. Though, most of these notes are not fundamentally necessary, they are such that you can use them for a good laugh, at a drinks party or for picking up women or men.

1) Coca-Cola: Did you know that its original colour was green?

2) Mohammed: Did you know that this is the most used name in the entire world?

3) Geographical Letters: Did you know that the name of each of the continents begins and concludes with the exact same alphabet? Do not believe that? Look up Asia, Europe, Africa, America, Antarctica and the rest.

4) Muscle Strength: Did you know that the strongest muscle in the entire body is that one which we use to lick a popsicle? Your tongue.

5) Credit Cards: In the United States, were you aware that each and every person has at least two credit cards?

6) An Antique Machine: The word for an old machine that was once used for writing letters and other documents is the largest word that one can make if they click only on a single row of their computer's keyboard: typewriter!

7) Blink: Men wink at women, but research has found out that the average woman blinks nearly two times more than the average man.

8) Suicide: Even though you might have wondered if it was possible, studies have discovered that it is impossible to kill oneself by simply holding in your breath.

9) Licking: However much you may try, you will never be able to lick your elbows.

10) Sneeze: Try sneezing. People will automatically answer you with a bless you greeting. Have you ever imagined why? Some say that this happens because a sneeze stops the functioning of the heart for a very tiny second.

11) The Blue Sky: Did you know that a pig, no matter how much they try, cannot look up into the sky?

12) Twisting Your Tongue: We have all dabbled with different tongue-twisters in our day. But do you know which is the toughest? Sixth sick sheiks sixth sheeps sick.

13) Ribs: Did you know that you should try not to sneeze too strongly. Why? A very powerful sneeze has the ability to cause a fracture in your ribcage. But, then again, if you try and withhold one, you stand the chance of breaking one of the many blood vessels in your neck or head. This could cause death.

14) Cards: Did you think that the Kings are all just random cards referring to random figures? No. Each one signifies a different king: Diamonds for Julius Caesar, Clubs for Alexander the Great, Spades for David and Hearts for Charlemagne.

15) And finally: Most everyone reading this (Caught You!) are trying to lick their elbows at this exact moment!

Conclusion: Most of these are not scientific facts, but they are hilarious, funny and can be used to lighten up the ambience when a conversation has gone dull. Use any and see your popularity rise up to great heights.Visit http://www.gambling-portal.com for more jokes.

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Why Are Some Plants Called Weeds?

01.32 |

That plant is a weed.
This may sound like two minutes with Andy Rooney but I just don't agree with this term. If a plant looks pretty and it has some quality that makes it useful, then why is it a weed.

What is a weed?

The chicory plant has a pretty little flower and some people use it to make tea. Isn't the bright yellow flower of the dandelion similar to a marigold or some little yellow daisy? You can make wine from dandelions. That's good isn't it. what is grass. It just lays all over the place and looks plain old green. I guess cows can eat it. I don't think it's a weed but I think it acts like a weed. Grass tries to overpower everything else. If Creeping Charlie tries to do that, we call him a weed.

Do weeds have some exclusive property that we can use to define them from other plants? Are those other plants just "plants" or should we call them "non weeds"?

When my wife "weeds" the flower garden, she will constantly ask "is this a weed?" Does it really matter? My response is always the same. "If you like it - leave it there. If you don't like it, pull it out."

Milkweed - wow, poor plant got it right in the name. This plant with the fun little seedpod is home to the much admired Monarch Butterfly. The monarch needs this plant to survive. Children love to open the mature seed pod and blow the little parachutes all over the place. We are intent on eradicating it because it is a "weed". I don't know what makes it a weed.

There are some plants that I guess we would all can safely be called a weed. Poison Ivy comes to mind first. I can't see anything good about this plant. This one can go away forever as far as I am concerned. A couple of god doses of this plant have it on "My weed list".

There are some very interesting names for weeds. The mouse eared chickweed. Does this really sound like a weed" It sounds like something we should see on the farm. Another similar name is "lamb's quarters". It belongs to the "goosefoot family" It just does not sound like a weed. More farm type plants - try "field horsetail" and "wild oats". Sounds like they should do well together.

Don't forget the "european frogbit" Now you really must wonder about that name.

I like the masses of purple loosestrife I see growing in ditch banks but I guess it is a monster in disguise. It gets out of control and chokes out everything. Maybe that makes it a weed.

I guess St John's Wort and Cypress Spurge don't sound that good to me. Maybe I will add them to my weed list.
Now this one really makes me wonder. I looked up Common weeds of northern United states and Canada. Where is the thistle.

That mean bristly plant wasn't to be found in the list of weeds. It must be a good plant I guess but I can't imagine why.

I want to talk to the guy that made that list of weeds. I just don't think he has it right!

I think I'm going to call Andy Rooney and see what he thinks of this whole weed deal. I bet he could provide a very interesting response.

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The Truth Behind Valentine's Day - Past and Present

01.32 |

It is not true that Valentine's day is a holiday invented by greedy greeting card companies eager to sell more stock or by candy companies to sell more chocolate, or general retailers to create more business once Christmas is over. It is easy to imagine that Valentine's Day was created by them because as soon as the stores put away their Christmas merchandise, out comes the Valentine's Day items - even though Valentine's is still more than six weeks away.

In a blink Rudolph and Santa are replaced with red ribbon and pink hearts and mass produced Valentine's Day cards in thousands of designs and sizes - large, small, serious, silly, inexpensive, expensive, musical (my least favourite because they sound so tinny) and traditional ones. Valentine's Day is the biggest single twenty hour period for florists, a huge event for greeting card companies and a boon for candy
makers.

Valentine's Day began more than 1,500 years ago. According to legend, Valentine was a priest who performed marriages in continued defiance of the orders of the Roman emperor Claudius. The emperor had realized that no young men wanted to join his army and then leave their wives and sweethearts. When it was discovered that Valentine was still performing marriages in secret, he was cruelly sentenced to death.

Valentine allegedly cured the jailer's daughter of blindness and on the night before his execution, he sent a note to her signed "from your Valentine". Reportedly he died on February. 14, 269 A.D.

More than 200 years later in 496 A.D., February 14 was named by Pope Gelasius to honor St. Valentine. Today more than 1,700 years have passed since the real Valentine died, and people are still celebrating Valentine's Day in a big way. A staggering 180 million Valentine's cards were sold last year.

It may never have occurred to you that Valentine's Day is a major crisis day for anyone who is having an affair. After all, Valentine's Day is the one holiday when everyone is expected to do something romantic for their spouse or lover -- and if someone has both, it's a serious problem and a logistic nightmare.

Not surprisingly then one of the most busiest groups of professionals on Valentine's Day is the private detective when their workload can quadruple. Most people figure if anything suspicious is going on it will show itself around Valentine's Day. Apparently it is a huge mistake for a cheating husband to book a business trip over Valentine's Day. It rates really highly on the scale of suspicious activity.

The competition element of what your spouse did for you on Valentine's Day is another highly disconcerting fact. Some people believe the main event is the day after when some women get together and the comparisons begin.

The competition factor can be particularly acute on the night as well if you go out for a meal on Valentine's Day - what you basically have is a collection of couples spending the whole night discretely observing each other in a restaurant, trying to reassure themselves that their relationship is less dysfunctional than the others.

Last year at a flash restaurant in London on Valentine's Day night a couple started arguing and the wife stood up, slapped the husband across the face and then stormed off in a huff. The husband composed himself, took a few more sips of his red wine and then proceeded to loudly call his mistress on his mobile. Within 15 minutes the immaculately dressed younger mistress turned up at the restaurant and sat down delighted that her lover had arranged the restaurant meal especially on Valentine's Day.

The first course arrived and then you would not believe it but guess who should walk back into the restaurant but the wife. Heated words flew, culminating in the wife pouring the rest of the bottle of red wine all over the husband's head and then the wife and mistress leaving together joined arm in arm in their thorough disgust with the sod of a man in their lives.

All this occurred whilst the other diners where sitting there quietly totally bewildered but secretly impressed with how fabulously functional their own relationship was.

The interesting twist that all came out in the newspapers the week after is that the colourful threesome were actors hired by the restaurant specifically to entertain the diners and make them feel grateful about the state of their own relationships.

This year you can avoid the actors and private detectives by stealing away somewhere quiet with your special someone. Do not whatever you do go away on a business trip over Valentine's Day, or for that matter go on a conference on the preceding or following weekend since Valentine's Day falls on a Wednesday this year.

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How to Receive a Lousy Gift Graciously

01.32 |

Unless you are an Oscar-worthy actor it is really quite difficult not to show at least some disappointment when presented with a putrescent gift.

Here are some tactics you might want to use in this situation.

1. Go for the Oscar anyway and say it's just what you always wanted. This has the advantage of minimizing any embarrassing moments but it's probably obvious that you don't mean it. And keep it short, Forrest Whittaker you ain't.

2. Pretend that they have actually given you a million dollars. This might be slightly embarrassing after you have danced around the room whooping, hugged everyone in sight and planted a big kiss on his or her mouth.

3. Start to say thank you and then pretend someone has just come into the room that you really need to see. This could be a problem if there are just the two of you but should work in large crowds.

4. Clutch your chest, start wheezing and shout "I think I'm having a heart attack!". This only really works if you can belch on demand and claim it was gas before anyone calls 911. It's also worth pre-warning any loved ones so they don't get too worried. Although this could mean they won't do anything if you really do have a heart attack!

5. Talk really slowly, or repeat yourself, to give yourself time to come up with a response. "Well, well, well. Will you look at that. Wow. Well I never. Never got one of these before" should give you time to work on a diplomatic response.

6. Change the subject rapidly. Start talking about the gift and then branch off onto how you saw one on vacation once, and what a great vacation it was and have they ever been there? Vacation stories always drive people away!

7. Resolve to get them an equally bad gift next time that should put a smile on your face!

Above all remind yourself that they have tried their best and have taken the time to get you something. And remember - there's always eBay!

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